Fly the Copter X2   
7:19pm Sun, Feb 13, 2005
mood: accomplished
ok so i just now shattered my all time record for fly the copter with a score of 4787. hells fuckin yea.
     4 Comments - Critiqué
6:59pm Sun, Feb 13, 2005
mood: disappointed
so things have been rough lately, i've been thinking about a lot of things. i guess it's just the winter blues but i really wish that i could be satisfied with things in my life. i find myself hanging out at my dorm a lot, i mean, not even really leaving for parties and things. it's not really that bad though, it is like a little city after all. mayhaps tomarrow will be a better day. end.
fly the copter   
12:54am Mon, Feb 7, 2005
mood: amused
i just had to announce that i just got 3308 on fly the copter

this could be the most exciting day of my life.
     1 Comment - Critiqué
Things are as usual.   
5:15pm Thu, Feb 3, 2005
mood: nostalgic
nothing that exciting ever happens to me. oh well, whatever. we got a 32 inch TV in our room, but i had to pay 65$ for it. i really didn't have the money but i gave it to them anyway. oh well, hopefully it won't bite me on the ass. i'm supposed to pay my credit card bill online but i haven't done it yet, i really should do that sometime....since it's due tomarrow i think, i hope. i've been thinking a lot about my position in the world. that and about my life in general. do i like the way it's going? could i even change it if i wanted to? little things like that. it's not necesarrily a bad thing, i just need to think about things.

i really like my anthropology courses, specifically 105 right now. we're learning about the descent of man from the great apes. from the astralopithicines (lucy) to the interbreeding of homo sapien sapien and homo sapien neanderthalis. end.
Halfling pride.   
11:53pm Sun, Jan 30, 2005
mood: happy
today was a normal sunday. i had a d&d meeting tonight, that was fun. my sorcerer is almost to level 4. that's when i get to cast level 2 spells. yay!
4:37pm Sat, Jan 29, 2005
mood: horny
ok, i just got my haircut and now i look like anne hache, it's realy quite amusing if you're not the one with the hair. oh well, i'll probably like it in a week or two. right now i'm freaking out because it's so much shorter though. it doesn't feel the same. it's just wierd.

last night i went to a few lame parties before heading home and hanging out at allen. hopefully tonight will be a better night, despite all the shitty wheather.

ok, now i'm off to go put shit in my hair to make it look less lesbionic. end.
11:21am Fri, Jan 28, 2005
  i have a very important announcement: me and shera have decided to become best friends. isn't that exciting? i fucking love shera, she fucking rocks. ok well i'm glad that i have a real fag hag now. before it was just like every girl in allen was my fag hag. except for people that were already fag hags. ok well, enough about that.

i still don't have a job. i know i said i was going to get one but it's soooo much harder than it sounds. on a lighter note, i have been keeping up with the readings in most of my classes, that's good.

i have come to the realization that i have a real penchant for staying out of drama. two out of my three best friends are kyle and dan, and they're both dating, but i still manage to stay out of MOST of their drama. my secret? listen and don't say ANYTHING. seriously, most of the time people just need to talk to work their problems out. it's like, when you have to articulate feelings and things, you have to think about them and when you do, sometimes you realize things that you wouldn't on your own. i guess phsycologists have been caching in on this for a while now. oh well, it works! end.
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12:41am Thu, Jan 27, 2005
mood: drunk
ok so this is me enetering an update while drunk. ok so we all (including i) knew it was going to happen. i got drunk for yelenna's birthday. ok so yeah, i'm drunk. ok fine. it's a special occasion since she's always been there for me. and by always i mean for the past few months. ok end.

here's a quiz that i just google searched for:

Emotional Drunk
What Kind of Drunk Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
5:28pm Wed, Jan 26, 2005
mood: flirty
it is now almost time for yahlanna's party to begin! tonight i'm going to get drunk. YIKES! oh well. so yeah, i've been thinking lately and i think that having crushes on boys is far simpler than actually dating them. iv'e been fucking around all day without really doing anything, fun. so i tried to go to impe today, and by try, i mean i thought about it but then decided that it required too much effort. so tomorrow i have class until like 2:20 and thus i will then both work out and study tomarrow, yay. end.
keeping in line.   
11:48pm Tue, Jan 25, 2005
mood: cheerful
ok so, i guess i'm actuallt going to keep up with this whole update thing. today was a good day. i missed a class this morning, fuck. oh well i've got the whole semester to make up for it. i went to coffee with one of my friends today, that was cool. he said that he couldn't tast the rasberry at all but i tried it and i could very distinctly taste it. haha, oh well. tommorrow will be an even better day with classes that don't start till one and a very fun ceramics class till late in the evening.

tommorrow: updates on yallahna's b-day drunken bash!
9:49pm Mon, Jan 24, 2005
mood: accomplished
ok so i feal like i've once again gotten into the whole school thing. i'm really having a good time and realized that if you take interesting classes, then reading the text can actually be sorta fun. i woke up late today and had like 15 minutes to eat breakfast. right after classes i went to cafe paradiso with matt but it was closed and so we went to espresso royal instead. we stayed there for like three hours until i went back to eat before my ceramics class from 6:30-9:20. we made hollow spheres. the kids in that class are awesome so it should be fun. this one girl said to me today, "i can tell that i'm going to really like to get to know you" so that was really cool. uh, yep, that was about my day. oh yeah, i've been trying a new thing to kind of get in shape. it's a two plan step.

part 1: make a tasty salad, take a large portion of whatever the vegetable is, then take other unhealthy food. eat the salad and the vegetables first, then whatever else i want. then wash it all down with a glass of soy milk. this is my meal routine.

part 2: work out at impe....yeah. well, i've implemented step one but step two is a bit harder. heh. ok so i'm definately going to start working out once they open up the new building right next to me.

on another comment, i think that i've been typing faster than i used to. that's kind of a fun thing.
3:01pm Sun, Jan 23, 2005
mood: hopeful
excelent, the time has begun to once again, update. jeeze, starting back up again is always the hardest part. i've decided to take a new aproach to the way i write my journal entries. i've decided to take some advice from Rhet105 and not only to write me reactions and opinions to things that happen, but also to analyze them to find their concrete roots in my psyche. and so, it begins:

i have decided to change my major from biochemistry to anthropology. in order to understand what my decision means, i need to explain how i decide at all. i take the traits that i have been gifted (by the athiest gods) and look at how i can use them to fit into my career. in high school, my class grades revealed that i have a wonderfull gift for math, science, and other analytical subjects. i also have a desire to help people, and thus, decided to apply both in the field of pharmeceutical biochemistry. however, after ariving here and undergoing the horrors of a chem major, i have decided that i wasn't willing to do it for a living, while simultaneously realizing that i really like learning about people. it is for this reason that i have thrown my lot in with the anthropology and "the study of human origins".

also, the love life has been pretty non-existant. there was this thing with a boy, but like all relationships up to this point, it didn't really work out. oh well though, i've come away from it with a better understaning of what i actually am looking for and the type of people to avoid. the idea that i've come away with is that i don't want someone that is threateningly smart and is also condescending. i'm still trying to analyze this one some more but i can only come to the conclusion that its probably because i value my intelegence as my greatest strength and feel threatened by people who seemingly surpass me in it. the other thing i look for is more of an introvert. the stem for this is probably due to the fact that they are less threatening. also, i like boys that are shorter than me. i guess really i just want a non-threatening boy. i don't know why i have a fear of gay boys but i do. i'll have to explore the root of that later. some preliminary lines of exploration include the fatherless status of my childhood, the torment that was junior high, and the ever present fear that people will dissapoint me. i know it has to be at least one of those. haha.

ok, so that gives a little insight into the issues that i'm currently dealing with. i'm trying to be as honest to myself as possible when i write this and as such, am expressing myself without walls. end.
     2 Comments - Critiqué
10:41am Mon, Nov 15, 2004
mood: contemplative
bleh, i'm never doing anything with boys again. it feels too shitty afterwards. you know, i really can't mess around with boys without feelings getting involved. ok so it's back to the prude joey. bleh.

when the wind blows in,
i hear the wisper of days past,
i want to make it last,
but its all so fleeting.

the time has come,
the day is new.
i know where i'm from,
but don't know what to do.

when the wind comes
my spirit runs.

7:57pm Sun, Nov 14, 2004
mood: cheerful
i went to a gay conference in St. Lois this weekend. it was very exciting. i'm all fired up with gay activism. yes, i guess i did slut it up once at the conference. that makes three so far since college started. meh, whatchagonnado? i met the most amazing woman at gay conference. her name is doria roberts. she has inspired me to once again nurture my creative side. i've decided that i shall once again write poetry. here's a poem:

cuando tiempo termina,
cuando el mundo muerta,
cuando todos no estan aqui,
yo estoy aqui para ti.

yep. end.
regression to oppression   
10:04pm Wed, Nov 3, 2004
  Yeah, today could litterally be the worst day of my life. I'm grieving for the country right now. I don't even know how to express the things i'm feeling. I feel raped. I feel like my rights are being trampled on and no one cares. I feel like the government is waging war on it's own people. oh god, i can't finish this right be continued.  
8:03pm Mon, Oct 11, 2004
mood: annoyed
just now, this kid told me that the only reason he went home was to go to church. i then asked him why he hadn't found a church out here. he told me that there was something special about this church and he could feel the presence of god so deeply there that he just wanted to start a mosh pit. he proceeded to make mosh pit noises and funny faces. my respect for the human race died a little more. i'm not going to lie though, the kid scared me a little bit. i'll have to watch him closely.
7:19pm Mon, Oct 11, 2004
mood: high
you know, i don't really know what made me decide to put down biochemistry instead of chemistry. i didn't think it would make that much difference. i guess i probably had just read about some cool thing that biochemists were working on. well anyway, it's wierd though. although its really hard work with the lab writups and the bio papers. i really love it. and the more i learn about it, the more i love it. :) it really does make me happy.
fucked up   
1:47am Sat, Oct 2, 2004
mood: drunk
smoked up, drank. i'm fucked up right now, but good news anyway: i just checked my bank account that has been in the red for a month and the loan check went through, depositing 350$ of money into my account. and i just realized that 3 weeks before school lets back in after christmas, i'll be getting another 850 more to buy books with. i love college.
     5 Comments - Critiqué
9:23pm Fri, Sep 24, 2004
mood: bored
ok, so its friday night. i got an 86% on my MCB exam. bleh. whatever, i'm going to go get to' up.
     4 Comments - Critiqué
chem homework sucks.   
2:04pm Sat, Sep 18, 2004
mood: pissed off
i'm really pissed off right now because hotmail hasn't been working for me for two days and i really need to get to the email that has the information for the person i bought my chem book from. it hasn't come yet and it's been like three weeks. grrr.
so right now i should be doing my chem homework, but i'm not. i have to do some of it though, maybe after i go swimming. oh well, whatever.

this campus has steadily become more and more boring, maybe its because i have no money. yeah, thats probably it. oh well. i turned in my loan papers and they told me that it'd go through on wednesday. that means that i'll get a refund on wednesday, hopefully. so now i'm trying to get it directly depositited into my account thats in the red so it'll be in the green again.
hehe. end.